Isn’t TV great?! Centuries from now when the large neural network that has overtaken human consciousness looks back on the summer of 2017 it will no doubt find that it was then that humanity had peaked in its ability to create great television. Take some time and appreciate the greatest of television eras, the great game show revival of 2017.
ABC kicks things off with their classic
Al Roker Steve Harvey vehicle “Celebrity Family Feud” and America collectively LOLed their Bs off as teams like “Funny gals” and “Harvey Family Men” faced off against such teams as “Funny guys” and “Harvey Family Women” in an ultimate battle of wits. Sundays on ABC! But wait that’s not all! Right after that show ABC decided it’s the perfect time to ruin Shark Tank by putting Steve Harvey on it, so they did and they called it “Steve Harvey’s FUNDERDOME”. Thankfully hackers posted the entirety of the show online in what turned out to be the least downloaded torrent in the history of the internet. Finally, ABC has decided to throw in "The 100,000 Pyramid" to round out the three hour Sunday night block because who cares about anything anymore.
transgressions brilliance continues with “To Tell the Truth” hosted by Anthony Anderson, who hosts this show because you can never have too much money. Speaking of too much money the weirdest thing ABC has ever done is allow Mike Meyers(Shrek) to host a show with a prosthetic face on in the revival of “The Gong Show” haunting your screens every thursday at 10pm eastern right on time to traumatize a generation of children.
Not to be outdone CBS has taken a break from making shows for old people and instead is focusing on converting apps that were hot in 2015 into game shows in 2017. In what is surely another clause in Mario Lopez’s “infinite youth” deal with the devil, the EXTRA host is pulling a double shift hosting this abomination. It’s not all bad though, Candy Crush is a record setting show, the largest touch screen. Because who doesn’t want to tune in to watch the “largest touchscreen you can’t actually touch”
"And we didn't settle on just one," Co-Executive Producer Josh Silberman added. "We built two of them."
Truly the greatest achievement of an era.
The “game show trash crown” undoubtedly belongs to NBC though. The network that converted late night TV into a series of “let’s pin the tail on the donkey while singing a top 40 pop hit”-fest boasts an EMMY WINNING GAME SHOW. I’m talking of course about Jane Lynch’s “Hollywood Game Night” which throws the cast of ‘The Superstore’ in oversized pants and hawks balls at them while the viewer wipes the drool from their face and scratches their belly. It has an Emmy.
After that Emmy winning spectacle, Chris Hardwick throws the shackles of podcasts aside to host “The Wall” which is an hour of plinko. Compelling as hell. Then tune in at night where Jimmy Fallon will be making funny faces into the mirror while House of Card’s Kevin Spacey does tricks with his bubble gum. FOX doesn’t wanna stay behind so they have THEIR OWN app based show called “Beat Shazam” in which Jamie Foxx...is there for some reason(never enough money).
Congratulations America we’ve created the worst best TV period. Roll around in it for a little bit but leave a little bit in the tank because Ellen(the original Jimmy Fallon) is getting her own game show later this year.
This is why network television is dying.