There's no debate 'Monster Mash' is the best Halloween song. I'd go so far as to say it's one of the best Holiday songs period. It's definitely better than 'The Christmas Shoes'. Released in 1962 Bobby Pickett's classic tells us a fantastic tale that includes scientific discovery, a massive house party, and foes coming together over the love of music. So Let's break it down and join Boris as he regales this story to us.
I was working in the lab, late one night
When my eyes beheld an eerie sight
For my monster from his slab, began to rise
And suddenly to my surprise
The song starts with our narrator, Boris working in his lab late one night. A trait that he no doubt learned from years under his tutelage of Dr. Victor Frankenstein. We can clearly see he's in the Dr. Frankenstein line because he too has a monster on a slab that he's working on. Boris has not achieved a PhD, otherwise he'd throw it in our face time and time again instead he's probably a grad student working on his own monster to impress Dr F. This is why Boris is surprised, he's surprised something finally worked. While Dr. F is working on creating life Boris is being a little derivative in his work and instead he's trying to create something much more....groovy.
He did the mash, he did the monster mash
The monster mash, it was a graveyard smash
He did the mash, it caught on in a flash
He did the mash, he did the monster mash
The Monster stood up and started mashing. It was a hit. Boris created a viral hit. It started spreading fast. We're lead to believe it spread as fast as light which if true would make this the fastest viral thing ever created. Truly an outstanding achievement.
From my laboratory in the castle east
To the master bedroom where the vampires feast
The ghouls all came from their humble abodes
To get a jolt from my electrodes
Like all good aspiring scientists Boris goes on to provide proof for his claims of how fast his monster's mash was spreading. First we can see that the Mash spreads first within the castle itself going from lab in the east wing to master bedroom which would be in the heart of the castle. At the same time we are presented with evidence of it going beyond to castle walls, serving as a sort of beacon to the ghouls outside of the wall. All came seeking a jolt of mash electrodes.
The Zombies were having fun, the party had just begun
The guests included Wolfman, Dracula, and his son
The scene was rockin', all were digging the sounds
Igor on chains, backed by his baying hounds
The coffin-bangers were about to arrive
With their vocal group, 'The Crypt-Kicker Five'
What we see here is nothing short of a miracle. Boris and his monster have found a way throw an all inclusive party. A get together where all manner of monsters and creatures could come together and for once in their life enjoy time dancing and feeling good instead of seeking to torment humans. There is no thirst for blood or brains here, no need to howl at the moon. Here we can see that the Mash is now gaining notoriety because Boris namedrops both Wolfman AND Dracula. We already knew Vampires were digging the mash from a verse ago but now it has reached THE Vampire. This is a meteoric rise for sure. Of note here is that this is the first mention of 'The Crypt-Kicker Five' which is actually the band accompanying Boris on the recording of the song still at this point they were a vocal group for the coffin bangers. This is an aspect I wish were more deeply explored, how did they go from a vocal group to a backing band and who's on the drums? Cus he's got a sweet feel.
Out from the coffin', Drac's voice did ring
Seems he was troubled by just one thing
He opened the lid and shook his fist and said
"Whatever happened to my Transylvania Twist?
Dracula shows up. And it's a little bit touch and go here. To trouble Dracula is akin to troubling the president. He's THE guy. If there was a Mt Rushmore of Halloween Dracula is clearly in the George Washington position. Boris and his Monster's Mash encounter their biggest hurdle when Dracula calls them out. It's unclear whether he's calling out the mass gathered in celebration or Boris himself when he asks about the status of his 'Transylvania Twist' but the crowd is soundly behind Boris in this stance and proclaims:
It's now the mash, it's now the monster mash
So this is the biggest defense of the Monster Mash. Whether it's a morph of the Transylvania Twist or whether it's only replaced it as the top of the crowd it doesn't matter to the crowd. This is a sobering view not only into the nature of pop hits but of science itself. Nobody cares about Newtonian Physics anymore. Nobody cares about Dolly the sheep. We're 3D printing organs now! We're building rail guns! Forget the Transylvania Twist!
Now everything's cool, Drac's a part of the band
And my Monster Mash is the hit of the land
Dracula comes to grips with this showing the stature of the man himself. Instead of trying to hold down The Crypt-Kicker Five and Boris he joins the band and hoists them up on their shoulders. This is what allows the Monster Mash to become the hit of the land, it's when they're propelled by the status of Dracula that Boris and his Monster's Mash can reach our ears.
For you, the living this mash was meant too
When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you
This is the closing statement of the song and it's a beautiful sentiment. Boris' Monster's Mash wasn't only for them, again this Mash is inclusive even to the living. Even to you and I. Boris is our gateway to the monster's realm where we can Mash the night away with all the ghouls and for this I am forever grateful.
Igor: Mash good!
Mad Scientist: Easy, Igor, you impetuous---
Igor: Mash good! Grrr!
As the song fades out Igor says what we're all feeling. Mash good. Mash good.
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