The Eastern Conference Finals of the NBA are about to start next week and once again, for the 8th year in a row, they will feature a team led by LeBron James. This stretch of dominance is unlike any that has been seen before in the sport. In fact it’s so unprecedented that it’s hard to put into words. There’s been a metric buttload of articles written, podcasts recorded, and youtube videos created espousing the greatness of the man as a basketball player but still no amount of “content” is enough to fully grasp the totality of just how much talent he has and the gulf that exists between him and other players. Speaking strictly from a basketball angle hasn’t worked so instead of that this article will try to explain how good LeBron James is at basketball in terms of other things. Hopefully in this way some of his greatness can be fully understood even if you don’t watch Basketball. Let’s get started...

  • If LeBron James were a character from The Sandlot, he’d be Benny the Jet and the Rest of the NBA would be Smalls.
  • If LeBron James were a Tex-Mex Queen, he’d be Selena and the rest of the NBA would be Los Dinos.
  • If LeBron James were a 13th century empire he’d be the Mongol Empire and the rest of the NBA would be Khwarazmian Empire.
  • If LeBron James were a taco, he’d be the best Al Pastor taco you’ve ever had and the rest of the NBA would be a Jack in the Box taco. Just one, not the two. I know you get two for 99 cents, they would just be one.
  • If LeBron James were a Star Wars movie he’d be Empire Strikes Back and the rest of the NBA would be the Lost In Space movie with Joey from Friends.
  • If LeBron James were a character from Parks and Rec he’d be Leslie Knope and the rest of the NBA would be Mark Brendanawicz.
  • If LeBron James were a movie experience he’d be the first time you saw M. Night Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense and the rest of the NBA would be the first time you saw M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender
  • If LeBron James were a song by Lou Bega he’d be Mambo no 5 and the rest of the NBA would be whatever other song the man has performed, I have no idea, do you?
  • If LeBron James were a United States city flag design he’d be the flag of Chicago and the rest of the NBA would be the old Provo Utah flag.
  • If LeBron James were an Office Episode he’d be the Dinner Party, or the one where Dwight cuts the face off the CPR mannequin and the rest of the NBA would be any one of the episodes without Michael Scott.
  • If LeBron James were a Tom Hardy movie he’d be Mad Max: Fury Road and the rest of the NBA would be This Means War.
  • If Lebron James were a Kanye West song he’d be “Runaway” and the rest of the NBA would be that “Poopdidy Scoop” one.
  • If LeBron James were an Avenger he’d be Thor mixed with Iron-Man mixed with Captain American and the rest of the NBA would be Hawkeye, the movie version.
  • If LeBron James were a McDonald’s menu item he’d be the fries and the rest of the NBA would be a McWrap. Remember the McWrap? I remember the McWrap.
  • If LeBron James were an ancient Greek infiltration strategy he’d be the Trojan Horse and the rest of the NBA would be whatever else they would do back then which I assume was run directly at the walls until they all died or they could climb the hills of corpses high enough to breach the walls.
  • If LeBron James were a British TV show he’d be The Great British Bake Off and the rest of the NBA would be some Piers Morgan show.
  • If LeBron James were a Dragon Ball Z character he’d be Goku and the rest of the NBA would be Chiaotzu.
  • If LeBron James were a hairstyle he’d be a nice fade and the rest of the NBA would be a rattail.
  • If LeBron James were the smell of a place that makes bread he’d be a good Panaderia and the rest of the NBA would be a Subway.
  • If LeBron James were a fictional cartoon sled dog, he’d be Balto and the rest of the NBA would be...I don’t know, I just really like Balto.
  • If LeBron james were an NPR program he’d be All Things Considered and the rest of the NBA would be an NPR pledge drive.
  • If LeBron James were a Shark Tank viral episode clip he’d be the one of the farmer guy who sells tree covers and cries and the rest of the NBA would be any other scene from that awful show.
  • If LeBron James were a Pokemon he’d be All the Legendary Pokemon combined and the rest of the NBA would a Digimon.
  • If LeBron James were a cryptocurrency he’d be Bitcoin and the rest of the NBA would be whatever Venezuela is making.
  • If LeBron James were a Beatle he’d be a combination of Paul and John and the rest of the NBA would be Pete Best.
  • If Lebron James were a Disneyland ride he’d be Space Mountain and the rest of the NBA would be the line for the Tiki Room.
  • If LeBron James were a Starburst flavor he’d be the Pink one and the rest of the NBA would be a piece of candy corn.
  • If LeBron James were a Daddy Yankee song he’d be Despacito and the rest of the NBA would be Justin Bieber’s verse on his remix of Despacito.
  • If LeBron James were an episode of Chef’s Table he’d be the one with the super romantic French Chef and the rest of the NBA would be an episode of Nailed It.
  • If LeBron James were a shoe brand he’d be Nike and the rest of the NBA would be Crocs.
  • If LeBron James were a basketball player he’d be Lebron James and the rest of the Nba would be the rest of the NBA.